Masculinity: Where did it go wrong?
A man is responsible for every 9 out of 10 violent crimes throughout the globe. Men are 20 times more likely to commit serious crimes like — homicide, sexual offense, kidnapping et cetera. Men are 10 times more likely to commit murder and nine times more likely than women to end up in prison. And boys perpetrate 95% of the violent crimes at the juvenile level. These statistics form the tip of the iceberg. The level of this disparity is so deep that 7/8ths of prison space across the globe have been exclusively reserved for male inmates. WHY ARE THE WORST PEOPLE IN HUMAN HISTORY ALMOST ALWAYS MEN?
Men are 10 times more likely to commit murder and nine times more likely than women to end up in prison.
All the political mass murderers of history have been men. Rebellious Military Commander? Serial killer? Underworld Don? Playground Bully? Why more often than not is a man behind the notoriety of the human race. Why masculinity is synonymous with aggression? Why masculinity is synonymous with dominance and bloodshed? Where did masculinity go wrong?
The Problem at hand is Two-Fold
There has pretty much never been a point in human evolution that we weren’t killing each other in one way or another. Violence has been second nature to us. This competition and violence existed for the simple reason that resources were too scarce, and the advantages given to one tribe for controlling those resources were huge. Therefore, people fought over them.
Back before drone strikes and cruise missiles, the people most adapted for conquest and discovery were invariably young men. One, because they were physically the strongest and most able. But also because they were disposable. If you want a new generation of children, you need a full generation of mothers to birth to those children. But you only need a couple of men. Therefore, if you were young, broke, and unproven, then off you went to kill something and prove yourself.
Masculinity was all about the three P’s: protection, providing, and procreation.
However, while things evolved the notion of masculinity remain stagnant. This form of masculinity came at a cost — both to the men in terms of their own health and mortality and to society in terms of violence and patriarchal dominance. While society has slowly started addressing both it is important to understand that there are two components at play. While women, children, and the LGBTQ+ community have suffered at the hands of masculinity and patriarchal setups. The “masculine” men have paid a hefty price too in the process.
Men have wronged Society
Masculinity has been wrong and continues to wrong to women and society at large because it fails to understand that if one is confident of one’s strength it should not be shown by putting somebody down. Being a man requires one to be good human-responsible, compassionate, and kind. You are a strong and confident man — show it to the world by lifting somebody, show it by respecting everyone irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, or size.
Many inhuman and discriminatory practices can be traced back to patriarchy and patriarchal setups. If there is a shortage of women legislators, women head of states, women astronauts, women professionals — men have played a major role in creating an imbalanced society. They have been responsible for practices like — female foeticide, sati, and denial of women suffrage.
If there is a shortage of women legislators, women head of states, women astronauts, women professionals — men have played a major role in creating an imbalanced society.
The notions of masculinity have held back girls from going out late at night in central Asia, have forced them to protest for driving rights in Arab lands, caused pay gaps in the western world, and adversely affected millions of people around the globe. The first step to fixing this is by accepting it. Do not call a leadership-oriented woman a feminazi, refrain from profiling roles based on gender, and not even for a second think your gender makes you superior.
Society has wronged Men
While society has been wronged — the social construct of masculinity haunts boys and men around the globe. Masculinity has wronged men at large. There is a latent price for being a man.
Men commit suicide at a rate five times that of women while teenage boys commit suicide nine times more often than girls. Men make up 2/3 of the homeless population, are more than twice as likely to become alcoholics, and are approximately three times more likely to become drug addicts. It’s widely documented that men are far less likely to ask for professional help, medical or otherwise, even when experiencing significant health problems or depression.
As a kid, if a boy falls on the playground and starts crying, his cries will usually be met with some form of, “Get up. Be a big boy.” If a boy gets beaten up by someone older at school, he would be admonished and told to hit him back. The other kids at school would make fun of boys who are weak or bad at sports. This stuff is normal. So normal that it feels stupid to even write because my guess is every single male reader can relate to one of the above experiences. It’s often written off as “boys being boys.” And it has a long cultural history.
The problem is the long-stemmed societal approval of how boys are to be groomed. The problem runs deeper with notions of men as providers and safeguards. There exists an evolutionary bias towards this interpretation of masculinity. However, it is more of a socially reinforced norm. It goes as follows “Men are looked down upon for weakness”.
Rigid stereotypes about what it means to be a man are hard to change, but accusations reinforce rigidity in even people who want to grow. I have long held this view that some privilege is unintentional but privilege anyhow. There is no denying that the scales of privilege have historically leaned in favor of men but this does not mean that the wrong notion of masculinity does not hurt men themselves.
Take this from a boy — there is a lot wrong with masculinity as the world knows it out there and things are not changing. Traditional definitions of masculinity have become more and more outdated — and men are paying a hefty price for it too.
